








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 170 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 265 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2161 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,224 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1529 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1199 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 2007 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 1489 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,086,406 of utility $162 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 41 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Scooter | 44% | 136 |
| #2 | Stun Seed | 43% | 63 |
| #3 | Slaps | 41% | 54 |
| #4 | Taker'Easy | 41% | 37 |
| #5 | Cesky | 39% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Scooter | 143 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #2 | Taker'Easy | 128 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #3 | Cesky | 124 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #4 | Stun Seed | 113 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | Slaps | 86 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Taker'Easy | +1.54 | 79 | 65 |
| #2 | Stun Seed | +1.12 | 57 | 53 |
| #3 | SKIP | +0.26 | 44 | 48 |
| #4 | Cesky | +0.17 | 73 | 66 |
| #5 | Scooter | -0.04 | 52 | 58 |





