








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 8 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank |
|---|
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
80 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 111 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 21 | 19% |
| Smokes | 36 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 36 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 18 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $20,500 of utility $144 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mayor West | 100% | 2 |
| #2 | FrostyMcDuff | 100% | 2 |
| #3 | The Juice | 100% | 2 |
| #4 | ostrich | 67% | 3 |
| #5 | k1ckstart | 43% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mayor West | 100% | 2 |
| #2 | FrostyMcDuff | 100% | 2 |
| #3 | The Juice | 100% | 2 |
| #4 | ostrich | 67% | 3 |
| #5 | k1ckstart | 43% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | k1ckstart | 35 | 0.29 | 0 min |
| #2 | ostrich | 4 | 0.13 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FrostyMcDuff | +6.34 | 64 | 68 |
| #2 | k1ckstart | +4.45 | 87 | 56 |
| #3 | Mayor West | +1.80 | 59 | 67 |
| #4 | ostrich | +1.54 | 52 | 70 |
| #5 | The Juice | -0.50 | 89 | 58 |





