










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 93 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 178 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 81 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3430 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,526 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1060 | 19% |
| Smokes | 717 | 13% |
| HE Grenades | 1661 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 2088 | 38% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,941,661 of utility $231 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 70 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 1969 Ford 302 Boss | 49% | 35 |
| #2 | jewbert | 48% | 44 |
| #3 | Thog | 44% | 131 |
| #4 | Piints | 42% | 24 |
| #5 | Her Kirito | 41% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jewbert | 35 | 0.0399 |
| #2 | Thog | 26 | 0.0098 |
| #3 | Her Kirito | 10 | 0.0163 |
| #4 | SpK Ballpit | 7 | 0.0057 |
| #5 | 1969 Ford 302 Boss | 6 | 0.0082 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Darius_Type_Beat | +2.42 | 81 | 63 |
| #2 | Piints | +1.32 | 62 | 49 |
| #3 | Thog | +0.58 | 72 | 47 |
| #4 | jewbert | +0.55 | 55 | 51 |
| #5 | Lebronze James | -0.01 | 26 | 40 |





