








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 15 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 124 matches | ||
| Faceit | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2756 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,745 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1177 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1437 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1264 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 867 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $603,149 of utility $121 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | villa | 74% | 72 |
| #2 | ✪ LeskA | 71% | 17 |
| #3 | Jarad Higgins | 67% | 18 |
| #4 | ✪ Rocket Bunny | 66% | 32 |
| #5 | gAdo | 62% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | villa | 176 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #2 | ✪ Rocket Bunny | 123 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #3 | .baffe | 84 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #4 | Jæköb$n. | 38 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | gAdo | 37 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | shortpegs | +2.14 | 94 | 48 |
| #2 | .baffe | +1.46 | 72 | 74 |
| #3 | villa | +1.15 | 77 | 70 |
| #4 | Jarad Higgins | +0.94 | 72 | 62 |
| #5 | ✪ LeskA | +0.74 | 84 | 48 |





