








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1 achievement has been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 15 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
374 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,285 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 188 | 15% |
| Smokes | 322 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 371 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 404 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $316,980 of utility $269 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 43 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jörmungandr | 49% | 55 |
| #2 | aNELKO | 48% | 56 |
| #3 | Shnoz | 48% | 56 |
| #4 | Crazysimox | 40% | 10 |
| #5 | Alvemo | 35% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shnoz | 3 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | Alvemo | 2 | 0.0055 |
| #3 | aNELKO | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | Jörmungandr | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aNELKO | 242 | 0.21 | 6 min |
| #2 | Shnoz | 156 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #3 | Jörmungandr | 70 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #4 | Crazysimox | 44 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #5 | Alvemo | 33 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aNELKO | +2.38 | 87 | 65 |
| #2 | Jörmungandr | +1.27 | 86 | 58 |
| #3 | Crazysimox | +1.06 | 79 | 83 |
| #4 | Shnoz | -0.86 | 56 | 72 |
| #5 | algoady | -2.12 | 40 | 56 |





