








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1591 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 851 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 62 matches | ||
| Premier | 30 matches | ||
| Faceit | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7987 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 28,410 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 11217 | 39% |
| Smokes | 5135 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 6298 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 5760 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,041,936 of utility $67 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 236 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jakzz | 56% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jakzz | 56% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jakzz | 87 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kb^ | +5.07 | 75 | 75 |
| #2 | jakzz | -0.54 | 55 | 62 |





