








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 235 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 84 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
984 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,818 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 708 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1024 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 517 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 569 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $637,750 of utility $267 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 126 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | donka | 63% | 8 |
| #2 | Bulijo99 | 50% | 18 |
| #3 | Slummdog | 50% | 20 |
| #4 | stony | 50% | 26 |
| #5 | BOMS | 31% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | donka | 63% | 8 |
| #2 | Bulijo99 | 50% | 18 |
| #3 | Slummdog | 50% | 20 |
| #4 | stony | 50% | 26 |
| #5 | BOMS | 31% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | stony | 3 | 0.0057 |
| #2 | Slummdog | 3 | 0.0076 |
| #3 | donka | 1 | 0.0064 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | stony | 87 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #2 | Bulijo99 | 51 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #3 | donka | 26 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #4 | Slummdog | 22 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| #5 | BOMS | 3 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bulijo99 | +2.63 | 78 | 49 |
| #2 | donka | +2.43 | 58 | 73 |
| #3 | glaaaaaaaaaadboy™ | +1.44 | 60 | 53 |
| #4 | stony | +0.23 | 72 | 53 |
| #5 | BOMS | -1.15 | 22 | 21 |





