










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 531 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 857 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 122 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




113 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7007 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,372 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 981 | 4% |
| Smokes | 8687 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 9121 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 6583 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,408,375 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2908 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | A Banana Nutted In This Muffin? | 53% | 85 |
| #2 | Aldous Snow | 51% | 104 |
| #3 | sk1z0 | 48% | 92 |
| #4 | Inept | 47% | 365 |
| #5 | 𝓔𝓷𝓭𝓵𝓮𝓼𝓼𝓵𝓸𝓿𝓮 | 44% | 233 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Aldous Snow | 51% | 104 |
| #3 | sk1z0 | 48% | 92 |
| #4 | Inept | 47% | 365 |
| #5 | 𝓔𝓷𝓭𝓵𝓮𝓼𝓼𝓵𝓸𝓿𝓮 | 44% | 233 |
| #6 | Emma | 40% | 87 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝓔𝓷𝓭𝓵𝓮𝓼𝓼𝓵𝓸𝓿𝓮 | 36 | 0.0072 |
| #2 | Inept | 25 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | A Banana Nutted In This Muffin? | 13 | 0.0079 |
| #4 | sk1z0 | 9 | 0.0046 |
| #5 | Aldous Snow | 7 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Inept | 945 | 0.12 | 24 min |
| #2 | 𝓔𝓷𝓭𝓵𝓮𝓼𝓼𝓵𝓸𝓿𝓮 | 646 | 0.13 | 16 min |
| #3 | Emma | 230 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #4 | A Banana Nutted In This Muffin? | 195 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #5 | sk1z0 | 140 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | A Banana Nutted In This Muffin? | +1.72 | 74 | 51 |
| #2 | 𝓔𝓷𝓭𝓵𝓮𝓼𝓼𝓵𝓸𝓿𝓮 | +1.10 | 37 | 55 |
| #3 | Aldous Snow | +0.95 | 58 | 66 |
| #4 | Inept | +0.37 | 48 | 50 |
| #5 | sk1z0 | +0.09 | 48 | 51 |





