








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 132 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Premier | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
343 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 384 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 65 | 17% |
| Smokes | 51 | 13% |
| HE Grenades | 125 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 143 | 37% |
Our logs show you have wasted $191,700 of utility $264 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 9 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | El Presidente Honk-Kong | 3 | 0.0153 |
| #2 | Tex (Gone fishin) | 1 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | ConCreteKilla | 1 | 0.0072 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tex (Gone fishin) | 107 | 0.26 | 2 min |
| #2 | El Presidente Honk-Kong | 17 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #3 | Riptide | 8 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| #4 | ConCreteKilla | 3 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tex (Gone fishin) | +1.84 | 88 | 53 |
| #2 | Riptide | +0.38 | 79 | 63 |
| #3 | pingisbad | -0.21 | 63 | 31 |
| #4 | ConCreteKilla | -1.98 | 42 | 28 |
| #5 | El Presidente Honk-Kong | -4.12 | 23 | 48 |





