








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 133 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 435 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4653 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,843 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4186 | 26% |
| Smokes | 5038 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 4661 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1958 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $879,891 of utility $81 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 102 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hightower | 53% | 68 |
| #2 | retired franko | 48% | 48 |
| #3 | gucci mae | 46% | 319 |
| #4 | Cyb | 45% | 266 |
| #5 | Lugaru | 43% | 397 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hightower | 53% | 68 |
| #2 | retired franko | 48% | 48 |
| #3 | gucci mae | 46% | 319 |
| #4 | Cyb | 45% | 266 |
| #5 | Lugaru | 43% | 397 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gucci mae | 18 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | Cyb | 17 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | Lugaru | 16 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | retired franko | 5 | 0.0049 |
| #5 | Hightower | 4 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gucci mae | 732 | 0.11 | 18 min |
| #2 | Lugaru | 634 | 0.07 | 19 min |
| #3 | Cyb | 558 | 0.10 | 13 min |
| #4 | Hightower | 207 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #5 | retired franko | 94 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gucci mae | +0.92 | 74 | 70 |
| #2 | dumpster thrash | +0.91 | 66 | 58 |
| #3 | Cyb | -1.04 | 36 | 54 |
| #4 | Hightower | -1.10 | 78 | 73 |
| #5 | Lugaru | -1.10 | 66 | 62 |





