








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 525 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 27 matches | ||
| Faceit | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4245 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,886 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3999 | 31% |
| Smokes | 3765 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2081 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 3041 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,019,618 of utility $145 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 207 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Shadowed_Afterburn | 53% | 171 |
| #7 | Sparky | 52% | 138 |
| #8 | jaredc7 | 50% | 194 |
| #9 | GutRippah | 49% | 98 |
| #10 | Qwerty | 47% | 173 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jaredc7 | 26 | 0.0069 |
| #2 | knope | 20 | 0.0078 |
| #3 | Shadowed_Afterburn | 16 | 0.0049 |
| #4 | Sparky | 8 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | Roze | 8 | 0.0042 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Qwerty | 595 | 0.18 | 16 min |
| #2 | Shadowed_Afterburn | 536 | 0.16 | 14 min |
| #3 | jaredc7 | 472 | 0.13 | 13 min |
| #4 | knope | 365 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #5 | GutRippah | 210 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Juishee | +2.75 | 81 | 65 |
| #2 | Shadowed_Afterburn | +1.76 | 77 | 59 |
| #3 | Joe | +1.53 | 64 | 63 |
| #4 | Qwerty | +0.90 | 77 | 60 |
| #5 | Sparky | +0.23 | 80 | 50 |





