










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 4 different maps




Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
118 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 245 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 42 | 17% |
| Smokes | 25 | 10% |
| HE Grenades | 167 | 68% |
| Molotovs | 11 | 4% |
Our logs show you have wasted $52,524 of utility $120 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 5$ Copay for Revive | 100% | 2 |
| #2 | PK | 45% | 20 |
| #3 | Squid | 39% | 18 |
| #4 | Zooter | 33% | 15 |
| #5 | K A N A | 14% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 5$ Copay for Revive | 100% | 2 |
| #2 | PK | 45% | 20 |
| #3 | Squid | 39% | 18 |
| #4 | Zooter | 33% | 15 |
| #5 | K A N A | 14% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PK | 12 | 0.0299 |
| #2 | Zooter | 7 | 0.0236 |
| #3 | Squid | 3 | 0.0084 |
| #4 | K A N A | 3 | 0.0195 |
| #5 | 5$ Copay for Revive | 1 | 0.0233 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PK | 99 | 0.25 | 2 min |
| #2 | Zooter | 27 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #3 | Squid | 11 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| #4 | K A N A | 4 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| #5 | 5$ Copay for Revive | 1 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Squid | +1.58 | 80 | 54 |
| #2 | Zooter | +0.78 | 68 | 42 |
| #3 | PK | +0.57 | 66 | 68 |
| #4 | 5$ Copay for Revive | -0.44 | 42 | 68 |
| #5 | K A N A | -0.97 | 73 | 41 |





