








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 598 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 445 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 82 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




32 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4316 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,662 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6134 | 30% |
| Smokes | 4708 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 5806 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 4014 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,404,124 of utility $133 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 571 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Snobrød | 57% | 54 |
| #2 | SuneSindsSyg | 55% | 53 |
| #3 | FengersForlænger | 53% | 277 |
| #4 | SELEKTIV | 51% | 51 |
| #5 | BoogieAl ツ | 51% | 256 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FengersForlænger | 931 | 0.16 | 30 min |
| #2 | BoogieAl ツ | 364 | 0.07 | 8 min |
| #3 | SuneSindsSyg | 126 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #4 | Snobrød | 105 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | SELEKTIV | 71 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Snobrød | +4.43 | 85 | 59 |
| #2 | SuneSindsSyg | +1.53 | 73 | 73 |
| #3 | BoogieAl ツ | +0.39 | 55 | 60 |
| #4 | Papa Luigi | -0.19 | 47 | 63 |
| #5 | SELEKTIV | -0.67 | 71 | 52 |





