








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 644 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 229 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 18 matches | ||
| Faceit | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 74 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




33 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4407 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,943 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4973 | 29% |
| Smokes | 4469 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 4071 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 3430 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $884,544 of utility $110 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 511 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Soniccannon | 61% | 23 |
| #2 | mo||o | 59% | 133 |
| #3 | f¡nn | 55% | 85 |
| #4 | bert ⛟ | 54% | 35 |
| #5 | Aktive Sterbehilfe | 53% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | f¡nn | 55% | 85 |
| #4 | bert ⛟ | 54% | 35 |
| #5 | Aktive Sterbehilfe | 53% | 30 |
| #6 | -pxd- | 49% | 43 |
| #7 | PhilNP | 41% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bert ⛟ | 8 | 0.0108 |
| #2 | mo||o | 7 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | f¡nn | 7 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | -pxd- | 5 | 0.0056 |
| #5 | Aktive Sterbehilfe | 3 | 0.0050 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | f¡nn | 246 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #2 | mo||o | 187 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #3 | -pxd- | 181 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #4 | bert ⛟ | 135 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #5 | Aktive Sterbehilfe | 45 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gambino | +2.38 | 87 | 71 |
| #2 | Soniccannon | +1.59 | 87 | 54 |
| #3 | bert ⛟ | +1.11 | 68 | 76 |
| #4 | f¡nn | +0.13 | 72 | 69 |
| #5 | mo||o | -0.63 | 52 | 48 |





