








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 89 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 5 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
265 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 605 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 229 | 38% |
| Smokes | 153 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 90 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 133 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $120,150 of utility $246 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 40 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mirage Master | 83% | 6 |
| #2 | Kurt Von Kartoffelberg | 75% | 4 |
| #3 | M1lleesaurus Rex #ClashGG | 50% | 2 |
| #4 | MARRE | 50% | 2 |
| #5 | Qbuddiii | 50% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Stighelmer | 50% | 4 |
| #9 | erkatomen | 50% | 6 |
| #10 | ✪erkatomen✪ | 50% | 8 |
| #11 | Vicuña | 45% | 11 |
| #12 | AVA OCH EDAM [ANCHOR, ENTRY] | 33% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vicuña | 2 | 0.0094 |
| #2 | knasen | 2 | 0.0541 |
| #3 | ✪erkatomen✪ | 1 | 0.0066 |
| #4 | Kurt Von Kartoffelberg | 1 | 0.0122 |
| #5 | AVA OCH EDAM [ANCHOR, ENTRY] | 1 | 0.0164 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | M1lleesaurus Rex #ClashGG | +6.88 | 62 | 73 |
| #2 | MARRE | +4.99 | 56 | 28 |
| #3 | knasen | +3.20 | 81 | 34 |
| #4 | Vicuña | +1.26 | 77 | 45 |
| #5 | Mirage Master | +1.18 | 54 | 40 |





