








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 57 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Premier | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
249 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 601 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 164 | 27% |
| Smokes | 222 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 96 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 119 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $79,287 of utility $171 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 9 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | max (410km/h) | 100% | 2 |
| #2 | ✪ Lobanjicaaa | 100% | 3 |
| #3 | ✪ ☜ hybr1d ツ ☞ | 67% | 3 |
| #4 | ✪ saRR - | 60% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | max (410km/h) | 100% | 2 |
| #2 | ✪ Lobanjicaaa | 100% | 3 |
| #3 | ✪ ☜ hybr1d ツ ☞ | 67% | 3 |
| #4 | ✪ saRR - | 60% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ saRR - | 3 | 0.0112 |
| #2 | ✪ ☜ hybr1d ツ ☞ | 1 | 0.0455 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ saRR - | 62 | 0.23 | 1 min |
| #2 | ✪ Lobanjicaaa | 5 | 0.22 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ saRR - | +3.23 | 79 | 62 |
| #2 | FAZE ✪ rain | +2.01 | 56 | 45 |
| #3 | ✪ Lobanjicaaa | +0.26 | 25 | 74 |
| #4 | ✪ ☜ hybr1d ツ ☞ | +0.24 | 77 | 44 |
| #5 | max (410km/h) | -5.69 | 9 | 32 |





