








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1412 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 524 matches | ||
| Faceit | 152 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 125 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10986 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 27,995 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3371 | 12% |
| Smokes | 8346 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 8399 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 7879 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,210,130 of utility $201 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1919 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DYZELL | 2236 | 0.18 | 68 min |
| #2 | TΛIJI | 1472 | 0.13 | 29 min |
| #3 | Modėėė | 927 | 0.18 | 24 min |
| #4 | MDE | 470 | 0.13 | 10 min |
| #5 | tK | 454 | 0.17 | 12 min |





