








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 477 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 242 matches | ||
| Faceit | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 36 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3093 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,416 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4855 | 34% |
| Smokes | 4143 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2000 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 3418 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $685,885 of utility $85 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 44 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lord Nelson | 63% | 24 |
| #2 | Bobbie | 60% | 20 |
| #3 | nico | 51% | 284 |
| #4 | ∃ | 49% | 81 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lord Nelson | 63% | 24 |
| #2 | Bobbie | 60% | 20 |
| #3 | nico | 51% | 284 |
| #4 | ∃ | 49% | 81 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nico | 32 | 0.0055 |
| #2 | ∃ | 9 | 0.0057 |
| #3 | Lord Nelson | 1 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nico | 356 | 0.06 | 10 min |
| #2 | ∃ | 296 | 0.19 | 7 min |
| #3 | Lord Nelson | 90 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #4 | Bobbie | 19 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bobbie | +1.25 | 78 | 45 |
| #2 | ∃ | +1.23 | 85 | 57 |
| #3 | Cerro House | +0.53 | 68 | 59 |
| #4 | nico | +0.49 | 78 | 51 |
| #5 | Lord Nelson | -0.59 | 53 | 75 |





