








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 765 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 703 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 71 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




32 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7596 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,180 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2380 | 20% |
| Smokes | 3975 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 3589 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 2236 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,207,298 of utility $265 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2013 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Emerald | 53% | 167 |
| #2 | Wookie | 51% | 55 |
| #3 | DawidElo2 CASE.GIFT | 49% | 80 |
| #4 | Jachous | 49% | 160 |
| #5 | PifPaf | 48% | 126 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Wookie | 51% | 55 |
| #3 | DawidElo2 CASE.GIFT | 49% | 80 |
| #4 | Jachous | 49% | 160 |
| #5 | PifPaf | 48% | 126 |
| #6 | EmEs | 48% | 82 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jachous | 9 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | DawidElo2 CASE.GIFT | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | Emerald | 2 | 0.0006 |
| #4 | PifPaf | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | EmEs | 2 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Emerald | 487 | 0.14 | 11 min |
| #2 | Jachous | 274 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #3 | PifPaf | 256 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #4 | EmEs | 169 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #5 | Wookie | 162 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Emerald | +2.39 | 68 | 61 |
| #2 | EmEs | +2.35 | 76 | 61 |
| #3 | Wookie | +1.84 | 68 | 68 |
| #4 | Martino | +0.55 | 63 | 40 |
| #5 | PifPaf | -1.93 | 52 | 48 |





