








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 181 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 147 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 104 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 39 matches | ||
| Premier | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2848 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,390 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1337 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2190 | 41% |
| HE Grenades | 620 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 1243 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,166,913 of utility $119 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 260 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TORILLA TAVATAAN | 43 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | OfficalMusicVideo-LaoTianBaoYou | 35 | 0.0066 |
| #3 | 枪口齉了(不经常射枪) | 28 | 0.0392 |
| #4 | Xelito | 14 | 0.0035 |
| #5 | Third-Rate Human | 7 | 0.0011 |





