










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 232 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Faceit | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 48 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2151 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,854 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1810 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1672 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1389 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 983 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $820,367 of utility $191 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 35 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | p34k | 49% | 75 |
| #2 | TIMMAH ♿ | 46% | 24 |
| #3 | ILLard | 39% | 18 |
| #4 | DoctorDres | 36% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | p34k | 49% | 75 |
| #2 | TIMMAH ♿ | 46% | 24 |
| #3 | ILLard | 39% | 18 |
| #4 | DoctorDres | 36% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TIMMAH ♿ | 2 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | ILLard | 2 | 0.0053 |
| #3 | p34k | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | DoctorDres | 1 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | p34k | 220 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #2 | TIMMAH ♿ | 115 | 0.24 | 3 min |
| #3 | DoctorDres | 61 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #4 | ILLard | 26 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tor | +1.57 | 73 | 66 |
| #2 | ILLard | -0.06 | 59 | 57 |
| #3 | TIMMAH ♿ | -0.29 | 69 | 57 |
| #4 | DoctorDres | -0.32 | 66 | 67 |
| #5 | p34k | -0.56 | 57 | 61 |





