








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 322 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 259 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




34 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3159 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,611 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2549 | 33% |
| Smokes | 2628 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 1086 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 1348 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $823,337 of utility $133 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 365 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chef | 55% | 103 |
| #2 | TaShi | 50% | 46 |
| #3 | n0odle | 49% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chef | 55% | 103 |
| #2 | TaShi | 50% | 46 |
| #3 | n0odle | 49% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | n0odle | 6 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | chef | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | TaShi | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chef | 372 | 0.17 | 10 min |
| #2 | TaShi | 170 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #3 | n0odle | 115 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jyle | +1.13 | 81 | 62 |
| #2 | chef | +0.47 | 69 | 59 |
| #3 | n0odle | +0.31 | 72 | 47 |
| #4 | TaShi | +0.09 | 75 | 65 |





