








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 548 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 190 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3491 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,476 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6025 | 42% |
| Smokes | 3142 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 2033 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 3276 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $270,658 of utility $42 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 677 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | deiwe | 62% | 26 |
| #2 | oxycodone | 51% | 158 |
| #3 | TheHonser | 49% | 103 |
| #4 | Swatking | 48% | 208 |
| #5 | ziguliukas | 47% | 95 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Swatking | 48% | 208 |
| #5 | ziguliukas | 47% | 95 |
| #6 | Mayhem | 41% | 17 |
| #7 | boMžour? | 35% | 23 |
| #8 | Alans | 31% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | deiwe | 15 | 0.0272 |
| #2 | Swatking | 10 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | ziguliukas | 7 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | oxycodone | 3 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | TheHonser | 3 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | oxycodone | 354 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #2 | Swatking | 254 | 0.06 | 7 min |
| #3 | ziguliukas | 184 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #4 | deiwe | 92 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #5 | TheHonser | 85 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | deiwe | +8.97 | 95 | 58 |
| #2 | Cronium | +1.62 | 71 | 73 |
| #3 | Mayhem | +1.16 | 56 | 54 |
| #4 | TheHonser | +0.36 | 67 | 39 |
| #5 | Swatking | -0.63 | 51 | 51 |





