








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 344 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 86 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
1966 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,152 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1912 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1839 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1025 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 1376 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $191,899 of utility $80 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 9 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Schreck | 83% | 6 |
| #2 | Jynx | 82% | 11 |
| #3 | damyo | 78% | 9 |
| #4 | alecc | 78% | 9 |
| #5 | vision | 77% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GODichella | 79 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #2 | INS | 52 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #3 | vision | 49 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #4 | Schreck | 37 | 0.22 | 1 min |
| #5 | rev | 31 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vexite | +6.40 | 94 | 79 |
| #2 | alecc | +5.06 | 93 | 60 |
| #3 | Jynx | +3.10 | 94 | 61 |
| #4 | INS | +2.81 | 96 | 73 |
| #5 | damyo | +2.24 | 81 | 61 |





