








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 382 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 81 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Faceit | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 51 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3553 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,544 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4182 | 31% |
| Smokes | 3565 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2503 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 3294 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $337,238 of utility $55 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 46 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Woozie | 54% | 35 |
| #2 | coze | 54% | 168 |
| #3 | LMAO | 52% | 23 |
| #4 | Huldrax | 50% | 26 |
| #5 | lizzyb | 45% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Huldrax | 50% | 26 |
| #5 | lizzyb | 45% | 22 |
| #6 | BAKKEN | 44% | 16 |
| #7 | Arctic | 42% | 26 |
| #8 | gigachad andy | 35% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | coze | 6 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | Arctic | 2 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | LMAO | 2 | 0.0041 |
| #4 | Woozie | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | Huldrax | 1 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | coze | 519 | 0.15 | 16 min |
| #2 | LMAO | 65 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #3 | Arctic | 50 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | Woozie | 47 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | BAKKEN | 38 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Herring | +3.35 | 92 | 69 |
| #2 | coze | +0.44 | 70 | 67 |
| #3 | gigachad andy | +0.25 | 73 | 64 |
| #4 | Arctic | -0.43 | 63 | 53 |
| #5 | Woozie | -1.97 | 58 | 55 |





