








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 592 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 271 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 36 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6809 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,427 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3645 | 24% |
| Smokes | 6051 | 39% |
| HE Grenades | 2629 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 3102 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,052,257 of utility $179 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 279 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Duke Moggington III | 70% | 53 |
| #2 | ericjs | 62% | 58 |
| #3 | General | 62% | 217 |
| #4 | ✪ CAZE | 59% | 56 |
| #5 | Friskyn | 59% | 216 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | Im.Mad | 51% | 232 |
| #12 | Mangstivity | 50% | 189 |
| #13 | BootyRice | 46% | 78 |
| #14 | mediso | 42% | 79 |
| #15 | Broham | 42% | 79 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Friskyn | 13 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | Bravo | 8 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | Mangstivity | 7 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | Im.Mad | 5 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | General | 5 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bravo | 898 | 0.14 | 21 min |
| #2 | General | 842 | 0.20 | 22 min |
| #3 | Friskyn | 807 | 0.19 | 23 min |
| #4 | Mangstivity | 399 | 0.10 | 11 min |
| #5 | Im.Mad | 301 | 0.06 | 9 min |





