








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 13 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 276 matches | ||
| Faceit | 33 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




58 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4376 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,520 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3334 | 32% |
| Smokes | 1799 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 3420 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 1967 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $878,949 of utility $121 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rab1-;- | 56% | 279 |
| #2 | Pierogi na talerzu | 53% | 284 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rab1-;- | 56% | 279 |
| #2 | Pierogi na talerzu | 53% | 284 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pierogi na talerzu | 31 | 0.0055 |
| #2 | rab1-;- | 24 | 0.0042 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rab1-;- | 797 | 0.14 | 21 min |
| #2 | Pierogi na talerzu | 649 | 0.12 | 14 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rab1-;- | +2.49 | 88 | 60 |
| #2 | Cringer🤙 | +2.01 | 85 | 61 |
| #3 | Pierogi na talerzu | -2.86 | 53 | 48 |





