








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 90 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 210 matches | ||
| Premier | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 39 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2545 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,164 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1655 | 18% |
| Smokes | 2962 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 2219 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2328 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,167,682 of utility $188 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 6 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Anto | 50% | 40 |
| #9 | $cOz | 50% | 150 |
| #10 | cobqlt | 47% | 38 |
| #11 | PONEY PONEY RUN RUN ! | 45% | 29 |
| #12 | LA BELLE BUTE | 35% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | $cOz | 2 | 0.0006 |
| #2 | Messi | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | Anto | 2 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | max | 1 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | PONEY PONEY RUN RUN ! | 1 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | coolz0r | 1126 | 0.33 | 33 min |
| #2 | LibreOffice Draw | 475 | 0.17 | 12 min |
| #3 | $cOz | 368 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #4 | Messi | 346 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #5 | ryo | 163 | 0.07 | 3 min |





