








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 79 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 70 matches | ||
| Faceit | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1317 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,894 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1206 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1660 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 804 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 1224 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $478,578 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 55 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Turkish child | 62% | 21 |
| #2 | Koto5blue | 57% | 28 |
| #3 | W!L$0N | 55% | 38 |
| #4 | gamer.mikkel2012 | 49% | 37 |
| #5 | Nyvango | 42% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | gamer.mikkel2012 | 49% | 37 |
| #5 | Nyvango | 42% | 12 |
| #6 | Hanizh-Pc-2013 | 39% | 46 |
| #7 | ræven aleq™♡ | 38% | 16 |
| #8 | BAT MAND | 26% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | W!L$0N | 6 | 0.0078 |
| #2 | Turkish child | 6 | 0.0148 |
| #3 | Hanizh-Pc-2013 | 3 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | gamer.mikkel2012 | 2 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | BAT MAND | 1 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hanizh-Pc-2013 | 107 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #2 | Turkish child | 51 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #3 | gamer.mikkel2012 | 47 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | BAT MAND | 42 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | Koto5blue | 39 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gamer.mikkel2012 | +2.21 | 44 | 52 |
| #2 | Turkish child | +1.45 | 45 | 56 |
| #3 | W!L$0N | +1.14 | 56 | 45 |
| #4 | ræven aleq™♡ | +0.93 | 42 | 58 |
| #5 | Enemark | +0.49 | 52 | 58 |





