








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1 achievement has been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 3 different maps



Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
38 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 64 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 25 | 39% |
| Smokes | 19 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2 | 3% |
| Molotovs | 18 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $10,600 of utility $104 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TheNemesis | 40% | 5 |
| #2 | Boy Badger McAffee | 40% | 5 |
| #3 | Leif.stYle | 33% | 3 |
| #4 | John Jacob Jingleheimer Wick | 0% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TheNemesis | 40% | 5 |
| #2 | Boy Badger McAffee | 40% | 5 |
| #3 | Leif.stYle | 33% | 3 |
| #4 | John Jacob Jingleheimer Wick | 0% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Boy Badger McAffee | 14 | 0.14 | 0 min |
| #2 | Leif.stYle | 14 | 0.24 | 0 min |
| #3 | TheNemesis | 6 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| #4 | John Jacob Jingleheimer Wick | 1 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Boy Badger McAffee | +1.53 | 87 | 67 |
| #2 | Roy Roger McFreely | +0.56 | 31 | 54 |
| #3 | Leif.stYle | -1.69 | 1 | 72 |
| #4 | TheNemesis | -4.58 | 5 | 41 |
| #5 | John Jacob Jingleheimer Wick | -6.30 | 14 | 60 |





