








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 47 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
258 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 847 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 302 | 36% |
| Smokes | 200 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 157 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 188 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $107,703 of utility $155 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 10 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Krücken-Krüppel | 50% | 12 |
| #8 | baddltaddl | 40% | 10 |
| #9 | Lil Pepe | 33% | 18 |
| #10 | Dort Mund | 27% | 15 |
| #11 | karrygold | 0% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Krücken-Krüppel | 2 | 0.0076 |
| #2 | Lil Pepe | 1 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | Jim Panse | 1 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | Dort Mund | 1 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dort Mund | 109 | 0.33 | 3 min |
| #2 | Lil Pepe | 103 | 0.26 | 3 min |
| #3 | Krücken-Krüppel | 74 | 0.28 | 2 min |
| #4 | π$ | 54 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #5 | Jim Panse | 50 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | π$ | +3.23 | 66 | 64 |
| #2 | Lil Pepe | +2.14 | 73 | 73 |
| #3 | baddltaddl | +1.60 | 75 | 75 |
| #4 | karrygold | +0.28 | 40 | 66 |
| #5 | Jim Panse | +0.24 | 47 | 63 |





