








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 18 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 116 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1338 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,651 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1434 | 39% |
| Smokes | 1034 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 600 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 583 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $358,215 of utility $111 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dunk Sodomiser | 44% | 9 |
| #2 | Noname | 44% | 18 |
| #3 | Daraliny | 43% | 54 |
| #4 | HeadshotsInHeels ⚞ ᴥ ⚟ | 41% | 41 |
| #5 | Badcock | 34% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dunk Sodomiser | 44% | 9 |
| #2 | Noname | 44% | 18 |
| #3 | Daraliny | 43% | 54 |
| #4 | HeadshotsInHeels ⚞ ᴥ ⚟ | 41% | 41 |
| #5 | Badcock | 34% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HeadshotsInHeels ⚞ ᴥ ⚟ | 87 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #2 | Badcock | 53 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #3 | Noname | 32 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | Daraliny | 31 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #5 | Dunk Sodomiser | 8 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dunk Sodomiser | +0.74 | 56 | 52 |
| #2 | HeadshotsInHeels ⚞ ᴥ ⚟ | +0.63 | 54 | 69 |
| #3 | Daraliny | +0.55 | 61 | 56 |
| #4 | That Guy | -0.31 | 44 | 52 |
| #5 | Badcock | -0.41 | 72 | 48 |





