










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 374 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 49 matches | ||
| Esplay | 30 matches | 1,745 | |
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1144 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,710 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 593 | 22% |
| Smokes | 748 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 720 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 649 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $520,776 of utility $218 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 61 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang | 67% | 9 |
| #2 | aVanRyn 3.6 Roentgen | 52% | 21 |
| #3 | ǝɔɐℲ ʇlnɐɟǝp | 50% | 12 |
| #4 | Sofi3N | 46% | 28 |
| #5 | BillZarN ツ | 45% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BillZarN ツ | 4 | 0.0094 |
| #2 | aVanRyn 3.6 Roentgen | 1 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang | 1 | 0.0056 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BillZarN ツ | 68 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #2 | ǝɔɐℲ ʇlnɐɟǝp | 52 | 0.21 | 1 min |
| #3 | aVanRyn 3.6 Roentgen | 43 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | dZ | 37 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #5 | aR^~ | 20 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dZ | +6.99 | 95 | 69 |
| #2 | Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang | +5.59 | 75 | 63 |
| #3 | Coffish | CASE.GIFTS | +1.12 | 78 | 56 |
| #4 | ǝɔɐℲ ʇlnɐɟǝp | +0.83 | 92 | 60 |
| #5 | BillZarN ツ | +0.30 | 56 | 54 |





