








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 75 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 32 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
607 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,498 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 579 | 23% |
| Smokes | 511 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 881 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 527 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $151,406 of utility $87 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 11 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Beetlejuice | 55% | 29 |
| #2 | OverSizedMidget | 48% | 33 |
| #3 | alfred | 45% | 67 |
| #4 | poopy pamper 22 | 40% | 5 |
| #5 | skaterboy | 40% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Beetlejuice | 55% | 29 |
| #2 | OverSizedMidget | 48% | 33 |
| #3 | alfred | 45% | 67 |
| #4 | poopy pamper 22 | 40% | 5 |
| #5 | skaterboy | 40% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OverSizedMidget | 4 | 0.0053 |
| #2 | Beetlejuice | 4 | 0.0064 |
| #3 | alfred | 2 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | alfred | 135 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #2 | OverSizedMidget | 51 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #3 | Beetlejuice | 49 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #4 | skaterboy | 32 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #5 | poopy pamper 22 | 13 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | alfred | +1.04 | 80 | 75 |
| #2 | Beetlejuice | +0.50 | 76 | 61 |
| #3 | OverSizedMidget | -0.22 | 69 | 61 |
| #4 | Gerard Joling | -0.82 | 71 | 60 |
| #5 | poopy pamper 22 | -1.22 | 68 | 70 |





