








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 168 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Agency | 52 matches | ||
| Faceit | 50 matches | ||
| Wingman | 31 matches | ||
| Premier | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1798 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,130 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 568 | 18% |
| Smokes | 526 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 1270 | 41% |
| Molotovs | 766 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $977,531 of utility $263 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 325 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ukkis Äitis | 65% | 52 |
| #2 | Kattimatikainen | 60% | 136 |
| #3 | UE Wingo | 59% | 22 |
| #4 | ismo | 55% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ukkis Äitis | 65% | 52 |
| #2 | Kattimatikainen | 60% | 136 |
| #3 | UE Wingo | 59% | 22 |
| #4 | ismo | 55% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kattimatikainen | 8 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | UE Wingo | 5 | 0.0115 |
| #3 | Ukkis Äitis | 4 | 0.0037 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kattimatikainen | 263 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #2 | Ukkis Äitis | 69 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #3 | ismo | 65 | 0.27 | 2 min |
| #4 | UE Wingo | 7 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kattimatikainen | +2.09 | 79 | 52 |
| #2 | ismo | +1.74 | 66 | 57 |
| #3 | 卡帕 | +1.13 | 75 | 48 |
| #4 | Ukkis Äitis | -0.81 | 49 | 53 |
| #5 | UE Wingo | -2.96 | 46 | 25 |





