








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 366 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 180 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2267 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,415 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2244 | 35% |
| Smokes | 389 | 6% |
| HE Grenades | 2152 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 1630 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $791,633 of utility $165 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 247 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 甘いamagil | 68% | 25 |
| #2 | nag1 | 65% | 20 |
| #3 | Pain | 43% | 58 |
| #4 | SPYDR | 35% | 17 |
| #5 | YeGoat | 24% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 甘いamagil | 68% | 25 |
| #2 | nag1 | 65% | 20 |
| #3 | Pain | 43% | 58 |
| #4 | SPYDR | 35% | 17 |
| #5 | YeGoat | 24% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | YeGoat | 6 | 0.0137 |
| #2 | nag1 | 4 | 0.0092 |
| #3 | Pain | 3 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | 甘いamagil | 2 | 0.0037 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pain | 323 | 0.27 | 8 min |
| #2 | 甘いamagil | 164 | 0.31 | 5 min |
| #3 | nag1 | 65 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #4 | YeGoat | 23 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #5 | SPYDR | 17 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nag1 | +4.84 | 83 | 41 |
| #2 | 甘いamagil | +2.30 | 78 | 69 |
| #3 | Pain | +2.26 | 64 | 65 |
| #4 | Gonyy | +0.12 | 73 | 56 |
| #5 | YeGoat | -2.43 | 34 | 44 |





