








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 411 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 410 matches | ||
| Esplay | 18 matches | 1,419 | |
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3737 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,888 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3836 | 26% |
| Smokes | 4584 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 3098 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 3370 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,096,238 of utility $110 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 310 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | z!pppS! | 55% | 84 |
| #2 | Spanker | 42% | 31 |
| #3 | ♿꧁•ᴮABaʙᴏʏツ꧂W | 41% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | z!pppS! | 55% | 84 |
| #2 | Spanker | 42% | 31 |
| #3 | ♿꧁•ᴮABaʙᴏʏツ꧂W | 41% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | z!pppS! | 3 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | Spanker | 2 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | z!pppS! | 278 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #2 | ♿꧁•ᴮABaʙᴏʏツ꧂W | 100 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #3 | Spanker | 26 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | z!pppS! | +1.23 | 49 | 53 |
| #2 | ♿꧁•ᴮABaʙᴏʏツ꧂W | +1.08 | 65 | 52 |
| #3 | Spanker | +0.15 | 51 | 39 |
| #4 | Skraidari | -1.04 | 39 | 53 |





