








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 233 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 108 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2258 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,645 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1410 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1041 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 2371 | 42% |
| Molotovs | 823 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,011,915 of utility $161 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 22 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Johnny Cadillac | 67% | 18 |
| #2 | VINS | 58% | 48 |
| #3 | linkzl | 48% | 294 |
| #4 | kugtaze1 | 47% | 103 |
| #5 | Vins | 39% | 88 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Johnny Cadillac | 67% | 18 |
| #2 | VINS | 58% | 48 |
| #3 | linkzl | 48% | 294 |
| #4 | kugtaze1 | 47% | 103 |
| #5 | Vins | 39% | 88 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | linkzl | 19 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | kugtaze1 | 7 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | Vins | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | VINS | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | Johnny Cadillac | 1 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | linkzl | 181 | 0.03 | 3 min |
| #2 | Vins | 138 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #3 | VINS | 70 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #4 | kugtaze1 | 43 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #5 | Johnny Cadillac | 23 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Johnny Cadillac | +8.20 | 55 | 39 |
| #2 | kugtaze1 | +3.35 | 61 | 30 |
| #3 | VINS | +0.45 | 42 | 36 |
| #4 | linkzl | +0.29 | 25 | 28 |
| #5 | Dhest | -0.13 | 49 | 44 |





