








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 22 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 153 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 41 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




38 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1509 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,580 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 292 | 18% |
| Smokes | 675 | 43% |
| HE Grenades | 506 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 107 | 7% |
Our logs show you have wasted $343,554 of utility $75 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 142 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | *NOT*I WILL PLAY BETTER | 52% | 105 |
| #2 | munga | 50% | 14 |
| #3 | bop | 41% | 22 |
| #4 | Nuzzles | 35% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | *NOT*I WILL PLAY BETTER | 52% | 105 |
| #2 | munga | 50% | 14 |
| #3 | bop | 41% | 22 |
| #4 | Nuzzles | 35% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | *NOT*I WILL PLAY BETTER | 6 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | bop | 4 | 0.0086 |
| #3 | Nuzzles | 3 | 0.0091 |
| #4 | munga | 2 | 0.0075 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | *NOT*I WILL PLAY BETTER | 47 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #2 | munga | 25 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| #3 | Nuzzles | 19 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| #4 | bop | 15 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bop | +2.93 | 60 | 30 |
| #2 | *NOT*I WILL PLAY BETTER | +1.59 | 56 | 48 |
| #3 | Groove | +1.56 | 84 | 26 |
| #4 | munga | -0.47 | 36 | 43 |
| #5 | Nuzzles | -1.29 | 52 | 33 |





