








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 324 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1413 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,772 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2240 | 39% |
| Smokes | 1663 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 927 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 942 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $482,045 of utility $173 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 133 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sid the Sloth | 90% | 10 |
| #2 | bunda | 78% | 9 |
| #3 | bun bun | 71% | 7 |
| #4 | soda | 67% | 15 |
| #5 | taco | 66% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Asterius | 4 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | Nappa | 3 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | ItsChang | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | taco | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | Sid the Sloth | 1 | 0.0047 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Asterius | 793 | 0.51 | 20 min |
| #2 | Reacher78 | 220 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #3 | ItsChang | 208 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #4 | Nappa | 137 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #5 | taco | 134 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bun bun | +7.18 | 76 | 56 |
| #2 | ftfoebj | +3.70 | 85 | 72 |
| #3 | taco | +2.29 | 77 | 71 |
| #4 | soda | +1.47 | 70 | 60 |
| #5 | bunda | +0.58 | 58 | 64 |





