








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 78 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 118 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
1632 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,040 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1863 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1559 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1322 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1296 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $743,038 of utility $200 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 174 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wric4 | 69% | 16 |
| #2 | blue spruced | 45% | 11 |
| #3 | blyat cat | 40% | 10 |
| #4 | gene creamery | 40% | 10 |
| #5 | evpire | 37% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | blue spruced | 45% | 11 |
| #3 | blyat cat | 40% | 10 |
| #4 | gene creamery | 40% | 10 |
| #5 | evpire | 37% | 30 |
| #6 | chicken popeyes | 36% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | evpire | 2 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | Wric4 | 1 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | blue spruced | 1 | 0.0045 |
| #4 | blyat cat | 1 | 0.0049 |
| #5 | gene creamery | 1 | 0.0049 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | blyat cat | 47 | 0.23 | 0 min |
| #2 | evpire | 41 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #3 | chicken popeyes | 22 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| #4 | Wric4 | 14 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| #5 | blue spruced | 14 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | evpire | +1.81 | 82 | 61 |
| #2 | blyat cat | +1.15 | 89 | 55 |
| #3 | gene creamery | +1.15 | 75 | 24 |
| #4 | chicken popeyes | +0.15 | 67 | 61 |
| #5 | blue spruced | +0.01 | 83 | 22 |





