










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 634 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 845 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 114 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




57 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5739 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 33,634 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6225 | 19% |
| Smokes | 10256 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 9426 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 7727 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,058,887 of utility $56 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4595 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...


| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ![]() Gunther Ackerman | 47% | 150 |
| #2 | Miss Daddy | 46% | 143 |
| #3 | BOSSE | 44% | 141 |
| #4 | Perky Potter 322 | 43% | 101 |
| #5 | Ozzy Osbourne | 33% | 140 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ![]() Gunther Ackerman | 47% | 150 |
| #2 | Miss Daddy | 46% | 143 |
| #3 | BOSSE | 44% | 141 |
| #4 | Perky Potter 322 | 43% | 101 |
| #5 | Ozzy Osbourne | 33% | 140 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BOSSE | 18 | 0.0060 |
| #2 | Ozzy Osbourne | 16 | 0.0055 |
| #3 | Perky Potter 322 | 11 | 0.0050 |
| #4 | Miss Daddy | 6 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | ![]() Gunther Ackerman | 5 | 0.0016 |

| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ![]() Gunther Ackerman | 312 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #2 | Perky Potter 322 | 109 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #3 | Ozzy Osbourne | 78 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #4 | BOSSE | 65 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #5 | Miss Daddy | 14 | 0.00 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Perky Potter 322 | +4.98 | 77 | 26 |
| #2 | ![]() Gunther Ackerman | +2.56 | 43 | 75 |
| #3 | ![]() Rudolf Steiner | -0.44 | 25 | 64 |
| #4 | BOSSE | -1.22 | 22 | 43 |
| #5 | Miss Daddy | -2.81 | 28 | 15 |








