








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
749 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,556 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 645 | 41% |
| Smokes | 489 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 250 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 172 | 11% |
Our logs show you have wasted $208,153 of utility $75 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Allan | 48% | 56 |
| #2 | Drankiii | 47% | 103 |
| #3 | Luke | 43% | 70 |
| #4 | 2BOBS | 41% | 80 |
| #5 | BLAAPP | 29% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Allan | 48% | 56 |
| #2 | Drankiii | 47% | 103 |
| #3 | Luke | 43% | 70 |
| #4 | 2BOBS | 41% | 80 |
| #5 | BLAAPP | 29% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Drankiii | 9 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | 2BOBS | 8 | 0.0049 |
| #3 | Luke | 8 | 0.0057 |
| #4 | Allan | 3 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | BLAAPP | 1 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Drankiii | 286 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #2 | 2BOBS | 244 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #3 | Allan | 229 | 0.20 | 6 min |
| #4 | BLAAPP | 86 | 0.24 | 2 min |
| #5 | Luke | 82 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Drankiii | +1.71 | 48 | 64 |
| #2 | 2BOBS | +1.58 | 45 | 56 |
| #3 | Luke | +1.38 | 67 | 45 |
| #4 | BLAAPP | +1.09 | 57 | 58 |
| #5 | Allan | -0.91 | 56 | 58 |





