








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1950 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1618 matches | ||
| Faceit | 110 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 87 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 113 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




73 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
14466 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 31,552 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7586 | 24% |
| Smokes | 906 | 3% |
| HE Grenades | 14967 | 47% |
| Molotovs | 8093 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,283,022 of utility $103 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1978 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 6’1 | 50% | 204 |
| #2 | I'm a good boy. | 45% | 293 |
| #3 | deadendxxx | 42% | 251 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 6’1 | 50% | 204 |
| #2 | I'm a good boy. | 45% | 293 |
| #3 | deadendxxx | 42% | 251 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 6’1 | 21 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | deadendxxx | 10 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | I'm a good boy. | 9 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 6’1 | 754 | 0.17 | 13 min |
| #2 | deadendxxx | 744 | 0.13 | 17 min |
| #3 | I'm a good boy. | 621 | 0.10 | 15 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BigMotion | -0.58 | 53 | 41 |
| #2 | 6’1 | -0.84 | 48 | 50 |
| #3 | I'm a good boy. | -1.40 | 33 | 63 |
| #4 | deadendxxx | -2.84 | 20 | 57 |





