








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 895 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 293 matches | ||
| Faceit | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4827 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,735 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5651 | 30% |
| Smokes | 4650 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 4275 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 4159 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,026,470 of utility $120 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 42 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JasoNNTjE | 58% | 77 |
| #2 | dexter1zoree | 58% | 93 |
| #3 | slixxer | 56% | 126 |
| #4 | Nackenpflaster | 43% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JasoNNTjE | 58% | 77 |
| #2 | dexter1zoree | 58% | 93 |
| #3 | slixxer | 56% | 126 |
| #4 | Nackenpflaster | 43% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | slixxer | 5 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | dexter1zoree | 4 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | Nackenpflaster | 2 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | JasoNNTjE | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | slixxer | 481 | 0.19 | 14 min |
| #2 | dexter1zoree | 298 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #3 | JasoNNTjE | 220 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #4 | Nackenpflaster | 54 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | denn1s | +1.53 | 82 | 68 |
| #2 | dexter1zoree | -0.59 | 67 | 62 |
| #3 | slixxer | -0.70 | 63 | 75 |
| #4 | JasoNNTjE | -1.60 | 63 | 61 |
| #5 | Nackenpflaster | -2.93 | 67 | 50 |





