








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 877 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 100 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 76 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 89 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3147 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,975 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1305 | 19% |
| Smokes | 2301 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 1975 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1394 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,301,326 of utility $166 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 650 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bomba | 60% | 78 |
| #2 | Waluwiener | 59% | 29 |
| #3 | PlumberDaddy | 48% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bomba | 60% | 78 |
| #2 | Waluwiener | 59% | 29 |
| #3 | PlumberDaddy | 48% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PlumberDaddy | 5 | 0.0045 |
| #2 | Waluwiener | 4 | 0.0068 |
| #3 | bomba | 3 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PlumberDaddy | 121 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #2 | Waluwiener | 30 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #3 | bomba | 24 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BlueStripedCheeseDuck | +3.72 | 50 | 46 |
| #2 | PlumberDaddy | +0.57 | 46 | 44 |
| #3 | Waluwiener | -0.29 | 17 | 40 |
| #4 | bomba | -1.65 | 19 | 24 |





