








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 75 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September

The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Premier | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
365 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 788 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 227 | 29% |
| Smokes | 218 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 99 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 244 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $222,751 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 175 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KDG | 53% | 17 |
| #2 | Cpt. Peru | 43% | 60 |
| #3 | Capt.Saucetin | 42% | 12 |
| #4 | Nyah | 33% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KDG | 53% | 17 |
| #2 | Cpt. Peru | 43% | 60 |
| #3 | Capt.Saucetin | 42% | 12 |
| #4 | Nyah | 33% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cpt. Peru | 4 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | Capt.Saucetin | 1 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | Nyah | 1 | 0.0092 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KDG | 92 | 0.26 | 3 min |
| #2 | Cpt. Peru | 88 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #3 | Capt.Saucetin | 25 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | Nyah | 22 | 0.20 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KDG | +2.69 | 51 | 54 |
| #2 | Nyah | +1.04 | 46 | 31 |
| #3 | Capt.Saucetin | +0.98 | 46 | 59 |
| #4 | Cpt. Peru | +0.83 | 47 | 51 |
| #5 | TheLegend27 | -3.88 | 21 | 33 |





