








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 666 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 718 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 95 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




48 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7173 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 33,663 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 11823 | 35% |
| Smokes | 11315 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 6912 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 3613 | 11% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,436,459 of utility $86 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 869 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gh@stlyB@st@rd | 44% | 63 |
| #2 | NadNoPro | 44% | 63 |
| #3 | RaptorJ | 38% | 191 |
| #4 | Ben Dover | 34% | 86 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gh@stlyB@st@rd | 44% | 63 |
| #2 | NadNoPro | 44% | 63 |
| #3 | RaptorJ | 38% | 191 |
| #4 | Ben Dover | 34% | 86 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RaptorJ | 5 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | Ben Dover | 4 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | NadNoPro | 4 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | Gh@stlyB@st@rd | 2 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RaptorJ | 457 | 0.12 | 12 min |
| #2 | Ben Dover | 233 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #3 | Gh@stlyB@st@rd | 56 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #4 | NadNoPro | 42 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nothingbuti | +1.55 | 40 | 63 |
| #2 | Gh@stlyB@st@rd | +0.95 | 57 | 42 |
| #3 | Ben Dover | -0.77 | 27 | 61 |
| #4 | NadNoPro | -1.96 | 17 | 33 |
| #5 | RaptorJ | -5.40 | 7 | 50 |





