








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 95 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 146 matches | ||
| Faceit | 109 matches | ||
| Wingman | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3212 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,712 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1828 | 17% |
| Smokes | 3095 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 3359 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 2430 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $904,108 of utility $109 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 60 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vrde | 63% | 24 |
| #2 | jantero | 62% | 68 |
| #3 | Saku | 60% | 65 |
| #4 | Vilu | 60% | 137 |
| #5 | jonza | 58% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | lelvi | 51% | 84 |
| #11 | suh dude | 48% | 27 |
| #12 | Särki | 47% | 267 |
| #13 | Simp God | 46% | 110 |
| #14 | Silakka | 36% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Särki | 18 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | Vilu | 17 | 0.0058 |
| #3 | Saab #PRESSUPEEK | 11 | 0.0073 |
| #4 | ♿ Tony0.2K ♿ | 10 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | lelvi | 8 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♿ Tony0.2K ♿ | 504 | 0.16 | 10 min |
| #2 | Vilu | 377 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #3 | Särki | 370 | 0.07 | 7 min |
| #4 | lelvi | 366 | 0.20 | 8 min |
| #5 | jantero | 241 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jonza | +5.42 | 79 | 65 |
| #2 | ♿ Tony0.2K ♿ | +3.93 | 78 | 57 |
| #3 | EXKaces | +3.65 | 82 | 68 |
| #4 | jantero | +2.89 | 71 | 61 |
| #5 | Vilu | +1.13 | 66 | 58 |





