








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 839 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 949 matches | ||
| Wingman | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 56 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




73 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9348 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 31,901 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5899 | 18% |
| Smokes | 10909 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 8202 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 6891 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,066,881 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 498 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nizz | 51% | 71 |
| #2 | mister | 50% | 185 |
| #3 | Mac Moneysac | 48% | 161 |
| #4 | Kim Jong-un | 44% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nizz | 51% | 71 |
| #2 | mister | 50% | 185 |
| #3 | Mac Moneysac | 48% | 161 |
| #4 | Kim Jong-un | 44% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mister | 40 | 0.0107 |
| #2 | Mac Moneysac | 11 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | Kim Jong-un | 8 | 0.0062 |
| #4 | Nizz | 3 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mister | 519 | 0.14 | 11 min |
| #2 | Mac Moneysac | 276 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| #3 | Nizz | 122 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #4 | Kim Jong-un | 111 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mister | +0.87 | 43 | 48 |
| #2 | GRANTELBART | -0.03 | 58 | 53 |
| #3 | Mac Moneysac | -0.66 | 52 | 53 |
| #4 | Nizz | -0.90 | 43 | 58 |
| #5 | Kim Jong-un | -3.05 | 32 | 59 |





